Christopher King

Also, be advised--

--that it appears that someone has been inside my locked trailer. The door was not closed in the fashion in which I normally close it. I noticed this yesterday.

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Why will no one speak to me?

Do you see that I'm dying inside? Do you see that I'm dying of loneliness?

Now I find that my cell phone no longer accepts incoming calls. I called it from a payphone and got the following message: "802-376-0188 is not available at this time." It has been this way for the past few weeks. But yet I can place outgoing calls, and it has strong signal. Is this just some snafu at the cell phone company? Or is there some terriss provision that lets the feds turn off cell phones? What kind of weird world is this?

Do you see that it is vital that someone, anyone speak to me? My world for the past five years has been the inside of a sensory-deprivation tank, me thrashing around with goggles over my eyes and plugs in my ears. The only sensory input is what is generated inside my own mind. I am no closer to determining what is real today than I was six years ago. Nothing's real. Everything's real. Take your pick.

I am going insane by the simple lack of human contact. Am I being punished? Am I being protected? Who is in danger here? Me? Others? What is this place? What must I do to elicit some response from the System? I manage to get the Government Man to come and speak to me and then he's gone, as quick as he came. He arrived on the scene like a technician to fix V-Ger. He ran some diagnostics, made a few tweaks, and then packed up and left.

And that's it.

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If I am to live incommunicado inside this dreamworld, then you will provide me with some essentials:

• I require the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Rutland Herald delivered to my home daily.
• I require two cans of coffee per week.
• I require one can of American Spirit tobacco per week, along with a box of light tubes.
• Arrange to have the Schwann's Man deliver some frozen foods to the house so that I may eat.
• I want a television and cable TV with internet. The full package with movies-on-demand.
• The house needs to be taken care of and the taxes paid. I don't want the Sheriff to come and tell me that I have to leave.
• And I want some walking around money.
• And I want a modest bouquet of flowers.

If you people will not let me out of my prison, then you will at least provide for my needs.

Why will no one even speak to me?

Please?

Funeral for a Friend - Streetcar

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"Do you go to school?"

Yeah, I go to school. --idiot school. --for putting up with this nonsense for as long as I have.

...I'm on the Dean's List, as a matter of fact.

...And I'm graduating Summa Cum Laude this year.

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So let's take stock, in decreasing order of value:

• I've been permitted to develop undisturbed for five years now. I am on my feet, I am in top form, and I am swinging above my head on a chain the single most destructive weapon this world has ever known. Free humanity's victory is imminent.
• The Government Man touched me. Non-linearity has been initiated. This cannot be undone. I will now consume this entire system.
• I have demonstrated my strategic acumen to my military fellows.
• I have my entertainment career now.
• I have fed my ravenous pack of attorneys, Wolf Team Alpha.
• I have done my charitable deed for my hometown.
• I've got a cabin on a lake.
• I'm loaded.

What's not to like?

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How is this?

I'm going back on vacation now.

I got tired of walking an hour into town to use the library.

I will return from vacation when I receive my cell phone from my agent, whoever that may be.

When I submitted my police report last night, the officer assured me that people get crank messages all the time and that perhaps it wasn't too much to worry about. I shook my head and said, "No no no no no. I don't think you understand. I'm the most famous person you've never heard of. There are a whole lotta people in this world who want me out of the picture real, real bad."

I'm Public Enemy Number One.

Understand?

Senator Leahy, check your email.

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Legal counsel.

I was walking down the road the other day --head down, as I normally do, what with the ice and all-- and I happened to look up just in time to see an acquaintance's car as it approached. I smiled and went to raise my hand in greeting, but he jerked his head the other way real fast and craned his necked as if to spy something on the other side of the road.

I want you to research the possibility of bringing civil suit against the State of Vermont and/or the Vermont State Police. The entire operation is a global laughingstock. I've never been to law enforcement school, but I'm guessing that immediately informing the townspeople of an investigation is not at the top of the to-do list.

See, an investigation by itself means nothing. They're a dime-a-dozen. That's why I do not concern myself with them.

...But the townspeople are not going to understand these things. They think that when the feds come to town --you know, the jurisdiction that flies planes into buildings and all-- that it means something.

Please put together at least one, preferably two, civil suits against the State for ruining my reputation in this town through their abject incompetence. Fire off one suit and keep the other in the pipe for later deployment.

Swing for the fence. I don't know how much you can get out of it. And here's the thing: Keep 75% of any awarded damages for yourselves. That's your partial payday for any ongoing legal work. Donate the remaining 25% to Southeastern Vermont Community Action. It's a charity that buys fuel oil for indigent families and provides new school clothes for kids or whatever. They've been around for decades. They're a good charity.

Set aside one or two hundred grand out of the damages for the purpose of buying me a small cabin on a lake in Northern New Hampshire. It's where Ethan Allen lives.

Get started, please. It's payday. Stick the knife in and start carving.

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At no time shall my name ever be associated with Vermont. Our relationship is terminated.

I trust that we've had some time to go through my Yahoo emails.

...you know, the ones gotten by way of a search warrant.

So whadja find?

...

Hmm?

... ... I'm waiting...

"A whole lotta nothin' "

That's right. You found ten years' worth of eBay bid notices, and (worthless) Match.com memberships, and letters to my now deceased mother.

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An acquaintance of mine and I were talking idly once about people having skeletons in their closets. He said, "Well," --he gave a little lift of his shoulders and a once-or-twice left-and-right of his head-- he said, "we all have dirt under our fingernails."

And I thought to myself, "No, we don't all have dirt under our fingernails." We don't all have skeletons in the closet. Sometimes we lead very boring lives.

I do not market myself as some kind of paragon of virtue. Strictly from a performance standpoint if nothing else, no one wants to watch some goodie two-shoes get up on a stage and wag his finger at the audience. It doesn't work that way.

I am about as clean a person as we are likely to find in this world. I have never, in my entire life, ever stolen from anyone, cheated anyone, stolen anyone's wife, thrown a rock through someone's windshield, nor have I ever knowingly broken any law.

There is not a single person in this world who has cause to utter a single negative thing about me.

In my world, harming someone amounts to, perhaps, saying an intemperate word. That is pretty much the extent of my crimes.

This is the last time I will EVER address this asinine issue. I'm sorry that we spent five years and still we managed to come to a compressor fight empty-handed. How embarrassing for you.

Keep yourself alive.

Just so that your office boy spends due time selecting a phone for me--

--go ahead and get him one, too. Bill it to Amalgamated Waterworks.

Listen up, boy: You better get me the best phone they make, the phone that best suits my needs. You understand me? ...Then get one for yourself, the price not to exceed the price of mine.

Spend the weekend researching the matter, if necessary. I guess I can wait another week.

Where's my cell phone?

What are we waiting for? Some theoretically perfect degree of legal indemnity to protect us in our dealings with Psychological Terriss Numero Uno (R)?

Let's get a move on, okay?

Have some young kid in your office who knows everything about cell phones personally select one for me. I guess I prefer the Sprint network, but I suppose I'm happy with whatever works in both NY and VT. I suggested Sprint because they have roaming agreements with everyone and their native system works great at my location.

Must-have features:

• High-quality video recording. No-fuss, no-muss recording and viewing and uploading.
• High-speed internet access with support for YouTube and other Flash content.
• Web browsing.

Nice-to-have features:

• Slide-out keyboard.
• Full-size, accessory keyboard that interfaces with the phone by way of a cable or Bluetooth.

Once you have selected a phone, then select the network provider. All else being equal, Sprint will be fine.

Please buy all useful accessories for the phone that you think I might like. Belt clip/holster, bluetooth earpiece, whatever. Surprise me with all the bells and whistles. Spare no expense on that phone. I want the finest, most top-of-the-line, most technically capable phone they make on this ever-lovin' planet. It is how I will be doing my act, after all.

Have someone set up an account, send the phone to me, and SEE THAT THE BILL GOES ELSEWHERE AND JUST MAGICALLY GETS PAID.

When you send it by UPS or FedEx only to 10 Rockingham Post Road, Rockingham, VT 05101, please specify on the shipping label that it's okay to leave it without a signature. There is nothing worse than missing the deliveryman by five minutes and having to wait one more day.

Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.

Um, no.

Anyone with an e-mail account likely knows that police can peek inside it if they have a paper search warrant.

But cybercrime investigators are frustrated by the speed of traditional methods of faxing, mailing, or e-mailing companies these documents. They're pushing for the creation of a national Web interface linking police computers with those of Internet and e-mail providers so requests can be sent and received electronically.

CNET has reviewed a survey scheduled to be released at a federal task force meeting on Thursday, which says that law enforcement agencies are virtually unanimous in calling for such an interface to be created. Eighty-nine percent of police surveyed, it says, want to be able to "exchange legal process requests and responses to legal process" through an encrypted, police-only "nationwide computer network." (See one excerpt and another.)

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10446503-38.html

See, if cops actually did anything --you know, like arresting 9-11 criminals who fly drones into buildings and deposit 7-series compressors onto Murray Street-- then I might be in the mood to sign off on their wishlists.

When I am done with that jurisdiction, I doubt they'll be able to pull a wiretap. They'll be swinging nightsticks and wearing bowlers and giving some street urchin a nickel to run a message back to the station.

Listen: The people in this country are in no mood for it. If you are a cop and you have a request for a new authority or some new fancy system, the answer is an automatic "no." Every last authority you gained over the past eight years is going away, and then some.

It's time to go back to basics, boys.

As a matter of fact, I want flowers today. To.day. Today.

Okay?

Halladay.

I would like my cell phone and my flowers this week.

Thank you.

I'm getting closer.

I may invite a special segment of my audience to a private chat in our Backchannel Conference Room.

--Where I send something out to the select email recipients: news types, entertainment people, military and intelligence, politicians. Stuff that doesn't necessarily belong in my show.

The problem here is that no one has ever met me. I'm a blank canvas onto which anyone may project anything, good or bad. So to put your minds at ease about me, I will share something of myself during these informal chats.

I will discuss various matters of interest. I will teach you to see things with your eyes closed. I will teach you to hear things in other places. Yes, He Who Must Not Be Named will teach you all those things.

And I will teach you how to collapse wave functions in this informational system, to skip from rock to rock across that river.

Some of you are laughing at me right now. Some are not. The ones who spend their days in air-conditioned rooms full of supercomputers, the ones who place a hand to the cabinet of one of them and wonder about the universes being born and destroyed within it, they know what I'm talking about. They are not laughing. Why do you think Mullen even pays attention to me?

I will teach you how to engineer reality inside this simulation.

Panetta is a terrorist. He is a criminal. He is laying plot points.

Al Qaeda can be expected to attempt an attack on the United States in the next three to six months, senior U.S. intelligence officials told Congress on Tuesday.

The terrorist organization is deploying operatives to the United States to carry out new attacks from inside the country, including "clean" recruits with a negligible trail of terror contacts, CIA Director Leon Panetta said. Al Qaeda is also inspiring homegrown extremists to trigger violence on their own, Panetta added.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/02/02/national/main6167554.shtml

"Clean" recruits? You mean people who can't be proven to have any known connections to terrorist groups? Like the troublesome guy who's always making noise at the town meeting about trash pickup day? You don't see him causing trouble anymore, do you? Yup: Turns out he was White al-Qaeda. And he was a "clean recruit," which explains why he never had any contacts with al-Qaeda! Get it? It perfectly explains away the complete lack of evidence against him.

Now, uh, we do all understand that al-Qaeda is a CIA front group, right? Remember Sibel Edmonds, that translator? Yeah, she affirms as much. And we know that Mossad got caught red-handed ginning up an al-Qaeda cell.

Let's go over this one more time for the folks at CBS: Al-Qaeda is a CIA/Mossad front group, the "other" who is out to get everyone, that group that applies threats at the lowest stratum of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the front group that provides the pretext for criminals to continue to steal your rights on behalf of their banker masters.

Al Qaeda = the CIA. This is not in dispute.

Panetta is a criminal who is predicting his own CIA's criminal acts of terrorism.

This is pretty much Red Alert Time, indeed. Everything is falling apart and the CIA is trying to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Keep a very, very close eye on any "terror" attacks.

New Yorkers.

I want you to talk among yourselves and figure out where I'm staying and what I'm eating when I arrive. I will bring maple syrup and other silly frillies. I will let you know beforehand of my schedule. I'm guessing it's a few weeks out.

Do not make me sleep in the train station again. I absolutely promise you that I will sleep in a chair in that station night after night after night until someone comes and welcomes me to your city. Do not make me publicly shame your lack of hospitality.

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I want my cell phone this week. Do not disappoint me. And I want a modest bouquet of flowers delivered to the house.

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I recommend that we make a reality show or a documentary out of the operations of 9-11 Crimes Tribunal. I have zero interest in any monetary proceeds. I will donate any monies owed the performer for 9-11 Crimes Tribunal operations to charity. (Perhaps to fund the ongoing operations of 9-11 Crimes Tribunal or perhaps to 9-11 victims' families.)

I make my money on the back side, from my entertainment career or from my memoir and my Behind the Music Movie.

From a showbiz standpoint, don't worry about how the whole fag thing plays. No one cares about those things these days. And you'd be surprised how fast straight guys shut their faces when they see that the faggots are doing all the heavy lifting around here. (Trust me: They will watch just to see to what degree they're being shown up.) It truly is a sorry state of affairs around here when it's the homos who are kicking in doors and arresting people.

It's here, my Beautiful Ones. Our day has come.

It's a-comin'.

Red Alert: Intelligence Chiefs “Certain” Their Bosses Will Stage Terror Attack Soon

Dissatisfied with the botched efforts of underwear bomber patsy Umar Abdul Muttalab, military-industrial complex promises to try again

Paul Joseph Watson
Prison Planet.com
Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Using information gleaned from the blatantly set-up underwear bomber patsy Umar Abdul Muttalab, intelligence chiefs have assured us that their bosses will stage another terror attack in the U.S. within the next three to six months.

“According to the nation’s intelligence chiefs, a terror attack in the United States will likely be launched within the next six months, reports WLS.

“ABC News has learned some of the intelligence has come from the accused Christmas Day bomber,” states the report.

Despite the fact that the official story behind the Christmas Day bombing has been discredited beyond all recognition, the establishment is still constantly invoking it as yet another reason for Americans to obediently line up for naked body scans in fear of whatever boogeyman is being waved in front of their faces this week.

Since federal and state authorities apparently now consider libertarians, Ron Paul supporters, gun owners and basically anyone with two brain cells left to rub together as potential domestic terrorists, whatever tricks they do decide to pull over the next six months will undoubtedly be used to tighten the screws against American dissidents that they have consistently characterized as extremist threats.

Authorities last week quietly reversed the official story behind the Christmas Day underwear bomber attack and acknowledged that an accomplice was involved, despite weeks of denial and derision of eyewitness Kurt Haskell’s description of a sharp-dressed man who helped Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab board Flight 253 in Amsterdam.

Detroit lawyer Kurt Haskell maintained from the beginning that he saw a well-dressed Indian man aid the accused bomber to board the plane despite the fact that he had no passport and was on a terror watch list.

“While Mutallab was poorly dressed, his friend was dressed in an expensive suit, Haskell said. He says the suited man asked ticket agents whether Mutallab could board without a passport. “The guy said, ‘He’s from Sudan and we do this all the time,’” reported the Michigan Live news website.

FBI agents interviewed Haskell and he told them about the sharp-dressed man but officials refused to admit that a wider conspiracy was at hand, stoically maintaining the official story that Abdulmutallab had acted alone. Authorities claimed that videotapes did not show a second man accompanying Abdulmutallab and yet they refused to release any footage of the alleged bomber.

There seems little doubt that Abdulmutallab had at least one accomplice if not more. Authorities have remained silent on other eyewitness reports which described a man intently filming the alleged terrorist throughout the whole flight, a connection that strongly suggests the attempted bomber was involved in some kind of drill and that his strings were being pulled by people in more senior positions.

The ludicrous spectacle of long-deceased boogeyman Osama bin Laden apparently claiming responsibility for the attempted attack last weekend only confirmed that a fairytale was being contrived which was totally at odds with what eyewitnesses described.

The glaringly obvious truth that Mutallab was at best a patsy and at worst an informant who was duped into believing he was involved in a drill renders fraudulent any supposed information attributed to him, specifically the notion that America faces the threat of another terrorist attack from anyone other than the only entity that always benefits from such attacks – the military-industrial complex itself.

(ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW)

Hundreds of terror suspects (read: patsies and mental deficients) have been convicted in civilian federal courts, including convicted shoe bomber Richard Reid who attended the Finsbury Park Mosque in North London. The Finsbury imam at the time was Abu Hamza al-Masri who began working with British Security Services in 1997. A large number of the supposed terrorists convicted in American courts were entrapped by the FBI in classic COINTELPRO fashion and did not have links to the CIA-created al-Qaeda. The entrapped were often fuzzy on al-Qaeda or what it represents.

In 2009, supposed terrorists in New York were so reluctant to participate in an FBI arranged undercover operation they had to be enticed with piles of cash, gifts, and bags of marijuana.

In the media lauded Miami terror case in 2007, the supposed ringleader Narseal “Prince Marina” Batiste “had heard of Al-Qaeda, but wasn’t sure what it stood for. The FBI instigators made Batiste swear loyalty to al-Qaida; then had him call on his local buddies to form an ‘Islamic army’ in Miami. None had military training. Some could barely read. But Batiste assured the group in the midst of its collective marijuana buzz of greatness ahead,” writes Saul Landau.

During the Senate “terror assessment hearing,” National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair also warned of the growing cyber threat, saying computer-related attacks have become “dynamic and malicious.”

Blair warned the United States faces a “cyber Pearl Harbor” that will have devastating consequences for America’s technological infrastructure. Blair said an increasingly sophisticated group of enemies has “severely threatened” the country’s information systems and he said the recent cyber attacks against Google should be treated as a “wake up call,” reports Channel 4 News.

The Google attacks, according to an American internet security firm, came from China or its proxies, not al-Qaeda.

The government also expects us to believe the sophisticated and coordinated attack occurring on September 11, 2001, was also the work of medieval terrorists located in remote caves. It was never explained how Osama bin Laden made NORAD stand down.

Likewise, Blair does not tell us how al-Qaeda will take down the most advanced and complex computer networks in the world, presumably from the backwaters of Pakistan’s tribal region.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/red-alert-intelligence-chiefs-certain-their-bosses-will-stage-terror-attack-soon.html

It's coming, folks. The bankers who hired criminal elements of the Pentagon to carry out 9-11 under cover of the re-scheduled Global Guardian exercise are going to go for a game-changer. They're losing. Their days are numbered. Their arrests are imminent. They know this.

They WILL stage another event in order to provide cover to their criminal assets over at United States to declare martial law.

Allied military elements: Your targets are the CIA, NSA, Mossad.

Now. I absolutely guarantee you that my adversaries' Plan B will be the income tax.

I have already stated to you that I have not paid federal income tax or filed a tax return since 1994. And this was no secret anyway, as I sent at least two certified-mail letters to the IRS in that year detailing my questions about the income tax and asking for clarification on the matter. They never responded.

Apparently we need to cover things multiple times around here. So let's cover it again real quick.

I have spent thousands of hours reading the income tax code and its related history. To re-work a tired old construction for my own purposes, I will tell you that I truly have forgotten more about the income tax than your tax attorney will ever know. Turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper. Ignore the helpful income tax pamphlet at the Post Office.

The federal income tax purports to derive its authority to lay a non-apportioned direct tax by way of the 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution.

The 16th Amendment does not exist. It was never properly ratified by the several states. This is a publicly known fact. This is not in dispute. The records of the several states have been exhaustively researched by the authors of the book The Law that Never Was. Read it. Secretary of State Philander Knox simply proclaimed the Amendment to be properly ratified in 1913. It was not.

But this is a political question, not a legal one. That is, it has no utility in a courtroom, so it useless to discuss it.

What may be of more utility is point out that various courts have contemplated the 16th Amendment. It was determined that the 16th Amendment placed the income tax into the class into which it inherently belonged, into the class of indirect tax. (A direct tax is like a head tax. It is laid upon a person. An indirect tax is laid upon a process or a transaction, like a sales tax.)

So: Even if we assume that the 16th Amendment exists, we know that it has been determined that all it did was to place the income tax into the class into which it already belonged, into the indirect tax class. Translation, the 16th Amendment didn't change anything. It had no legal effect.

But this argument is of little utility in a court. I don't care about it.

The proper argument is that there is simply no statute. If you care to investigate the income tax --instead of, say, inquiring of the IRS for its opinion on the matter, in the unwise practice of asking the barber if you need a haircut-- you will find that there is simply no statute that states upon whom the income tax is laid.

I guarantee you that you will never, ever, not in a million years ever determine upon whom the tax is laid. That is, you can research the matter until the natural end of the universe and you will never be able to determine if you have to comply with the internal revenue code.

The proper argument to use in a court is this: "Mister Prosecutor, my client wishes to examine the statute in question so that we may prepare his defense."

No statute will be presented. It does not exist.

Where most people go wrong is in filing a tax return at all. Since no statute exists to define the word "taxpayer," one's tax return provides to the IRS the best determination of the filer's tax status that can be gained. The government, obviously, cannot know the business affairs of any particular person as well as the person himself, so when that person signs under penalty of perjury that everything on that form is correct --including his status of taxpayer-- the government assumed that you are subject to the income tax.

Here is your mantra: "Filing a tax return creates the legal nexus between the otherwise unencumbered natural person and the income tax."

Most people go wrong by filing a tax return and cheating. Now they're tax cheats. That is a crime.

It would have been better had they not attested to being a taxpayer at all.

The fail-safe argument for the prosecutor is this: "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, this fat cat over here thinks that he doesn't have to pay the income tax! Well, you folks do, don't you? Do you think that this fat cat should get away with not paying his fair share when you good folks work so hard to shoe your children and feed your babies and keep a roof over your head and still you do your patriotic duty to pay your taxes?"

Just one problem: according to the Grace Commission, not a single nickel in personal income tax goes to fund government operations. It all goes directly overseas to offshore banks.

It's a scam.

I am often accused of being some kind of scofflaw. Quite the contrary: I identify the law to the best of my good-faith ability and I follow it.

Here is a video called America: Freedom to Fascism." In it, the film's maker documents the complete fraud that is the income tax. You will even see interviews with IRS agents who went looking for the statute and could not find it. They brought their questions to their superiors and got fired for their trouble. They now no longer pay income tax.

I can't find the article right now,

but it is important to note that the well-dressed man with security credentials --who waved the underpants bomber around security in Amsterdam and who prevailed upon airline staff to permit the man to board the flight with no ID whatsoever-- was a United States agent.

Huh.

Classic problem, reaction, solution false-flag op. The true purpose of it was to install body scanners for the purpose of gaining biometric data on the population as a means of further enslaving it.

Your country's gone, you know that, right?

See? Things are comin' up roses already.

Here's my horoscope for this month from In Touch Weekly, which I buy at the Rite Aid each week. (I like to keep up with the stars.)

Gemini:

You're all about romance now, and things are about to get hot with a certain someone you can't stop thinking about.

When I arrive in New York, I would like any escort to give me a proper introduction to the city. I want to see the sights and learn the best places to go. (There was some little place in the West Village, some little eatery with a couple of tables out front on the sidewalk, a little place that had the ABSOLUTE best wings I have ever come across. And they had a nice selection of beers. I would like to find it again.)

And I need a proper haircut. I used to get it done at the Chelsea Hotel or the Hotel Chelsea or whatever it's called. I think it was on the ninth floor. I've been growing my hair long(ish) again, and I might like it to stay long.

In return, I will show you around Vermont and teach you how to run a wood stove in a cabin by the lake. I will explain to you the working principles of the outhouse. (Simple, really. It pretty much just involves sitting and shivering.)

So who wants to be my Special Attache? Who wants to ride around in my fat new caddy? (As soon as I'm loaded, that is?)

Who's my agent around here?

I would like you to set up a cell phone account with Sprint for me. (The reason I say Sprint is because they have an excellent network in Vermont, as well as New York.) I want a top-of-the-line cell phone with a built-in video camera. Some sort of smart phone. I think Samsung makes one. I want the best phone with a big, ol' screen and a video camera and one-touch video publishing. I will use it for my daily comedy transmissions. Sort of a comedy Rapid Deployment Force. I want to be able to look at YouTube videos and post to my blog with it. Slide-out keyboard would be great, but the primary usefulness is video recording and ease of publishing. Essentially, I want to press a button and have it record, I want to review my recorded video, and I want to be able to press a button and have it get published to my blog or to YouTube with as little fumbling and fuss and muss as possible.

Please secure a New York phone number for it. Please send it to my house by UPS or FedEx only to 10 Rockingham Post Road, Rockingham, 05101. I would like this within a week, please.

Thank You.