What are we waiting for? Some theoretically perfect degree of legal indemnity to protect us in our dealings with Psychological Terriss Numero Uno (R)?
Let's get a move on, okay?
Have some young kid in your office who knows everything about cell phones personally select one for me. I guess I prefer the Sprint network, but I suppose I'm happy with whatever works in both NY and VT. I suggested Sprint because they have roaming agreements with everyone and their native system works great at my location.
Must-have features:
- High-quality video recording. No-fuss, no-muss recording and viewing and uploading.
- High-speed internet access with support for YouTube and other Flash content.
- Web browsing.
Nice-to-have features:
- Slide-out keyboard.
- Full-size, accessory keyboard that interfaces with the phone by way of a cable or Bluetooth.
Once you have selected a phone, then select the network provider. All else being equal, Sprint will be fine.
Please buy all useful accessories for the phone that you think I might like. Belt clip/holster, bluetooth earpiece, whatever. Surprise me with all the bells and whistles. Spare no expense on that phone. I want the finest, most top-of-the-line, most technically capable phone they make on this ever-lovin' planet. It is how I will be doing my act, after all.
Have someone set up an account, send the phone to me, and SEE THAT THE BILL GOES ELSEWHERE AND JUST MAGICALLY GETS PAID.
When you send it by UPS or FedEx only to 10 Rockingham Post Road, Rockingham, VT 05101, please specify on the shipping label that it's okay to leave it without a signature. There is nothing worse than missing the deliveryman by five minutes and having to wait one more day.
Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.
