I would like you to set up a cell phone account with Sprint for me. (The reason I say Sprint is because they have an excellent network in Vermont, as well as New York.) I want a top-of-the-line cell phone with a built-in video camera. Some sort of smart phone. I think Samsung makes one. I want the best phone with a big, ol' screen and a video camera and one-touch video publishing. I will use it for my daily comedy transmissions. Sort of a comedy Rapid Deployment Force. I want to be able to look at YouTube videos and post to my blog with it. Slide-out keyboard would be great, but the primary usefulness is video recording and ease of publishing. Essentially, I want to press a button and have it record, I want to review my recorded video, and I want to be able to press a button and have it get published to my blog or to YouTube with as little fumbling and fuss and muss as possible.
Please secure a New York phone number for it. Please send it to my house by UPS or FedEx only to 10 Rockingham Post Road, Rockingham, 05101. I would like this within a week, please.