I call it Operation Fairy Queen. It's when the homos come to town and do everyone's job for them.
There is a place in every society for queers. See, a queer's proper place is in the kitchen, cooking for his man. But when the criminals have breached the city walls and the gate's off the hinges and everyone's getting raped and run-through and enslaved, the little faggots slam their saucepans down on the counter in disgust and roll their eyes and grab their man's shield and sword and go fix things.
Historically, every army has profited by having some faggots in their ranks. For one, all men can appreciate a beautiful man with a lilt in his voice. They're like male/female hybrids. They possess an odd power over their fellows. And there is a survival advantage for the homo; the straight men will dote on him and bring him food and pelts. And no self-respecting straight man will permit a fairy queen to outshine him on the battlefield.
It's built-in camouflage, too:
And the proper balance of male and female energy makes for a potent third force.
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My new target date is to arrive in New York on March 30th. I will wait under the arrivals and departures sign. No one will meet me.
Therefore I will roam around New York and stir up trouble. I will go stand outside the Today Show studio the following morning and I will throw a brick through the window. (Most people just stand there in their parkas and mittens and wave. I will heave a brick through your precious window. I will announce myself by waving and jumping up and down. You'll recognize me. When you see me, get everyone out of the way. I don't want anyone getting hurt. When you see that brick in my hand, you had better get under your desks.)
Do not press charges against me when I break your window. I demand that someone from NBC meet me at the train station when I arrive. If you do not meet me, you cannot complain as I am now plainly stating to you that I will break that window. Have some class. Welcome me to New York or hold your tongue when I react precisely as I am now telling you I will.
When I get to New York, there will be the incentive among any number of criminals to set me up, trip me up, plant illegal materials on me, whatever.
Remember that I consider all aspects of my life to be onstage and I have for five years. I will not do anything that does not "play well." Above all else, I am a showman. I know what does and does not play well. I will not be armed, I will not have any contraband of any kind, and I will not be up to anything that does not play well in Chris' Behind the Music Movie.
This is the part where everyone's curtains get to match the carpets. Military, intelligence, law enforcement, news media, everyone: You had better damn well have my back. You will live up to your own advertising for once. I am going to pluck criminals out of that exoskeleton and restore decency to this abortion of a country.
March 30th. 6:45 pm. Do not let me down. Do not let the entire world watch you permit a lawman to sleep in a chair in the train station.
