My trip to New York tomorrow (to arrive at 6:41 pm on train 55, the Vermonter) is a law enforcement operation. If I can make an entertainment career out of the deal, so much the better.
As we transition to a broader audience, I'm going to have to change it up real fast. The trickiest part is accommodating a rapid influx of new audience members, to get them up to speed on me and my show.
I will not allow my adversaries to frame me and my show improperly.
We've all been here together for five years. We've come to know one another. We've beaten the piss out of each other and had some laughs. Remember that sign I stapled up at the door? What's it say?
"It says, 'I am why Chris gets up in the morning. Chris does this because he loves me.' "
And I do. As much as I may gripe and grouse and storm off, I come back every day, don't I? ...As do you all, and don't think I don't appreciate it...
And remember my Prime Directive: "Everyone goes home better off for knowing me."
So as we change up the tempo and throw open the canvas and broaden the tent, let's remember our watchwords:
Peace, law, honor.
We're turning back the clock nine years. We're going to fumigate this rathole and arrest some criminals.
I do this because I love you, Bill. Now me lawman, just like you.