If I were to happen upon abandoned property once belonging to United States?
How would the court rule? Is it felony theft? Or is it merely putting to use the abandoned property of a non-existent entity? Would Malcolm have a role to play? ("Put me in, coach! I can do it!")
Yeah, that should cause sufficient trouble for my needs.
Wolf Team Alpha: Prepare to defend me in a felony theft case. I'll let you know the details as I figure it out.

