So I would like to thank you all for permitting America's Senior Comedian and Smelly Ol' Terriss (R) to be removed from a house he has every means of paying for if it were not for certain assclown jurisdictions making it illegal for me to follow the law, earn a living, and pay the mortgage.
I will not be around for the auction. I do not believe I can tolerate watching the hammer go down on the house my father helped me buy, the house in which I defended lawful government from the smelly ol' terriss, the house I lost because the smelly ol' terriss made ME a smelly ol' terriss! "So there!"
And then the local woodchucks with their five green teeth and their three data points about my unnoteworthy little life can gather on my property and spin for themselves a grand, rich tapestry of how the feds came to town, and how the guy at the tire shop told him that his girlfriend told him that she heard from the Women's Auxiliary that I have great, swinging boy-sex parties at my house, complete with crystal meth and lines of cocaine, and that we have human sacrifices, and how it all seems so plausible. "He is kind of strange."