I have taken stock of the past five years. Everything has been a complete bust except for the stage time I had in Orlando. I learned stand-up there. I did my recordings there.
And I miss my friends.
I love my ancestral homeland of Vermont, but the sad fact is that there is nothing here for me. No clubs, no place to perform, nothing to do. Vermont will be the death of me if I stay here. And proximity to New York is worth nothing as I will never have a professional comedy career. I've put the thought out of my head. Don't worry, everyone, you finally broke Chris King. He went away at long last.
I will be visiting Orlando for the month of December, for the sole purpose of reconnecting with those friends with whom I have been corresponding, to see about work, and to find a place to perform. And I'll make any decision about staying there.
November 2003 through November 2004: The most productive twelve months of my life.
November 2004 through November 2008: A black hole of nothingness.
You do the math. It was fun, folks, but it looks like this is going to come to an end.
Please put out the word to any cognizant law-enforcement agencies along the eastern seaboard: I will be traveling in my United Sovereigns of America sovereign territory car on or about December 1. I do not wish to be disturbed in the enjoyment of my business. Remember: That's what happens when no one follows the law. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Please turn on the waterworks now and take exception to my having taken exception to your having committed crimes. I am very sorry you did that. Let's remember who the criminals here are. I have not uttered a single word or performed a single action over the past five years that was not a member of the "now look what you made me do" class.
I am going to reboot the stand-up, which is the only worthwhile thing I've ever done. I felt healthy and fulfilled when I was doing it. It feels good to make people laugh. And I miss that.
I have decided that I no longer wish to exist in a meta-reality. I want to perform to people I can see and hear.
Who wants some venison for Christmas dinner?
